dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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