after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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