you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
