Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
