You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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