Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
