He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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