She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
