well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
