it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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