dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
