Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
