I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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