I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
dude. I can hear the air.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
