god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
