If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
