I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
