You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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