Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
