kristin has been a bad kristin
vagina is talking i cant
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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