That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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