Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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