11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
