do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
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it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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