What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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