i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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