just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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