Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
