She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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