Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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