Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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