I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
