He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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