i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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