Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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