and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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