i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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