It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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