I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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