For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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