How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
