My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
