True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize