He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
