Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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