He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
