The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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