I can text with my tongue
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize