if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
