My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
