I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
