Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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