turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
whose parrot is this?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
