Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
