he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize