well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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