So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
