Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Come share oat with me in your robe
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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